HalfNumbers
by The Button Harlequin
Summary: A pointless conversation between IX and VI. Did you know that half-numbers do not have any support, and need to have a campaign to raise awareness? No pairings, just a good story.


The Cloaked Schemer sat outside in the sunshine, admiring the view of the field before him and then turning back to the book in his lap. The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare that number XIV had introduced him into had hooked him by the third chapter, not resting until he finished the first three books and then hunting down a bookstore that still had the fourth in stock without having to resort to order it. Again. Honestly, it had to be illegal how addicting thee book series could be.

Why is he outside in the sunshine instead of in a library? You may ask. Axel and Xigbar had recently played a prank on him while he was in the library using stinkbombs to flush him out and then Xigbar using a paintball gun on him while calling him, as he recalled, a "spotted pigmy emo! I'll go get me net!" That made Zexion cringe at the memory that had then taken place, running away from Axel and Xigbar and then even Luxord to chase him down with nets before he finally found safe refuge in Vexen's lab. The three of them knew not to go within thirty feet of Vexen's lab, under pain of Vexen tellin Marluxia and then Marluxia telling Larxene that she could play knife tag with the three of them. There he waited for eight hours wwith no book and nothing to do until Axel, Luxord, and Xigbar finally left, Xigbar and Axel tired of losing to Luxord at cards. That was how Zexion was not to go into the library for two weeks, as it and all of the books in the library were to be fumigated and detoxicated of all offending smells and their origins (mainly Heartless poo and Xaldin's socks, who was not pleased to find out that they were the main ingredient in the harshest of the stinkbombs).

Zexion sighed in despair at the poor books that had to be detoxitized at the hands of lower Nobodies. They were going to be so lonely without him there to at least keep them company in the library. Then he chuckled at the thought. Books. Lonely. To think that the most indifferent and apathetic of the Nobodies could ever think of anything as lonely and then feel the echo of saddness for them was something else in its own right. A true and wonderful-

"What were you laughing at?"

Zexion nearly tumbled down the hill he was sitting on in embarassment when he saw that he had been caught laughing at something so insignificant as feeling something. And to be caught by number IX no less! The blonde mullet headed man was leaning over Zexion's shoulder, looking at the page that Zexion was currently reading.

"Nothing," Zexion replied flatly, using that as the sign to Demyx that he should leave the Cloaked Schemer alone. But of course, the Melodious Nocturne was too dense or too emotionally immature to figure it out.

"But you were laughing, and unless you're not right in the head, you were laughing at something. So tell me, what was it, cause I can't pay attention too books for very long to find out. Please?" Demyx's eyes grew to be as wide as saucers, begging for the answer. To Zexion, he looked like an idiotic cute puppy, but it was the only thing that Demyx knew that would get Zexion tell him what he wanted to know. Zexion sighed in defeat as the thought crossed his mind. Although every word was true, to think that something was cute ment that he had to have an opinion of something, and to form an opinon you needed a heart.

"You're doing it again," Demyx said, pointing at Zexion as layed on his belly next to Zexion on the field grass.

"Doing what?"

"You're thinking in your thoughts instead of thinking out loud so that everybody can hear your thoughts. That's the point of having people around you who want to know what it is that you were thinking. So what are you thinking?"

"I completely disagree with you IX," Zexion countered, turning his attention back to his book, "I think that thoughts are there so that we don't have to listen to everyone around us, so that we can keep our privacy and still have a life outside of our own mind. It's so that people like me who don't really care to know what people think of me don't have to listen to everything that comes out of their head. What they think is their business and we have no place in there."

"But you go into people's heads and brains all the time to mess with their thoughts," Demyx pointed out, "And you said that you have no place in another person's thoughts, so isn't that being hippo-crater-ick?"

"The word you're looking for is hypocratic, and no, I'm not. It's not my business what goes on in a person's mind except for when it becomes my business. Believe you me, I'd rather stay out of a person's head at all cost is it wasn't for the fact that my powers of the mind seem to have one of their own from time to time. The things that people think are absolutely hideous sometimes."

This piqued Demyx's curiosity. "Like what kind of thoughts? Like dirty thoughts, or stupid thoughts, or murder thoughts? Or," a dark cloud of horror surrounded Demyx as a thought came into his mind, "a person who can't think of music! Oh, that would be horrible, or a thought that doesn't have cookies or rainbows in it, or, the worst of all, NUMBERS!"

Zexion turned away from his book to raise one eyebrow at the stupid Nobody. " All three actually. But numbers? No. Do you have a fear of numbers?"

"YES!" he said pleadingly, "Numbers! I HATE math, and all numbers in the world, except for those that I need for a musical count sheet. Don't they scare you, Zexy? You can put two numbers side by side and you get a different number every time you put a different sign there! And then somethimes the mommy and daddy numbers give birth to HALF, numbers, so they couldn't even make a whole number! It's like they gave birth to a baby and a half!" Huge, dramatic tears welled up at the corners of Demyx's eyes as he looked pleadingly at a bewildered Zexion. "It's so sad," he managed to nearly cry while not shedding a single tear, like he was trying to be strong for tall the little half numbers out there, "those numbers can only live out half their lives and they even live them to the fullest because they only can live them to the halfest! I want to try to support all those little half numbers until they can be happy, just as they are!"

Zexion stared in complete and utter bewilderment at the blonde, just barely able to keep up with the string of the conversation. 'What is with this guy and numbers?'

All of a sudden, Demyx's eyes lit up with genius inspired brilliance. "We should start a foundation for them!" he shouted happily, waving his arms in the air from excitement, "We could, like, donate blood and clothes and food and stuff to them, to help them out you know? And give the little half numbers morale support! I could be the spokesperson and you could be the money guy and the smart one who does all the research! Yeah! And we could give concerts to raise money for them and give them awareness and-"

"STOP!" Zexion barked, halting Demyx's rant in mid-sentence. This conversation was pointless, and frankly stupid in his opinion, but his burning curiosity would not be set aside by the fact that he was dying to know what put this idea in IX's head. "What, are you talking about? Numbers? You don't raise an awareness for numbers, they are already a part of the mathematical system of the world. What put these ideas into your head?"

"Well think about it," Demyx said after he calmed down, "If I was half of a number instead of a whole number I would be really disappointed, like I couldn't play my sitar and stuff." A horrified look came to his face, "NOOOOO! SITAR! Don't go!"

"Number IX!" Zexion barked again, thoroughly annoyed now more than he was before, "Why would I care about half numbers? They are simply apart of -as I said before- the mathematical system of the w-" he paused, thinking over the conversation and then considering Demyx's lack of intelligence. "Number IX," Number VI stated calmly, "Are you refering to us? As numbers of the organization?"

"Of course," the Melodious Nocturne replied without hesitation, "What else would I be talking about? You're number six and I'm number nine, nice round and whole numbers, but what about all the poor half numbers, like nine-and-a-half or six-point-three? Did you ever think about them? Now, back to what I was saying before..." Demyx's emotional immaturity seemed oblivious to the stupified expression on Zexion.

'Oh my God,' he thought, stunned, 'this man is the absolute stupidest excuse for a human being to ever roam the worlds.' In a futile attempt to stop the stupidness of Demyx from reaching his brain (and frankly the pain was better than having to listen to the idiot somemore. Take his word for it, he's emo you know), Zexion bashed his head against his thick book as many times as he could before he had to stop from fear of passing out.

Somewhere swimming in his mind, the voice of Demyx reached his ears. "You know, with you acting like that, you might be a half-number. Woohoo! My first rescue case!"

'Oh my God, rescue me from this idiot...'

AN: sorry for any errors you find. I don't have anything except notebook, so it's a little hard trying to spot errors sometimes. Anyway, I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or else I wouldn't even play the stupid game, I would just make a movie and watch that. Admit it, the movie would be so cool...AND NO ONE EXCEPT THAT STUPID SOB XEMNAS WOULD DIE! GRAAAAHHHHH! How dare they make that amazing Schemer die! *pants from ranting* Anyway, ahem, that's it. I hope you enjoyed this and hope you have a nice day. Please give your thoughts if that's what would make you happy, my door is open to any one and everyone, Nobody, Somebody, or somewhere inbetween.


End file.
